Best of the Worst of Shovelware: April 10th, 2009

Squeeballs (Wii, Xbox 360, PS3)
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Even better if you can take a popular game and throw in plenty of bloody animal abuse into it. That pretty much sums up Squeeballs, a combination of Wii Sports and Mario Party. Count ’em, 100 minigames where all you do is kill and maim the poor squeeballs. Beat them with a bat, mash them in a meat grinder, electrocute them. What good, clean family fun! Even grandma can tap into her inner serial killer. I mentioned this game before when In2Games announced their Wiimote-like motion controller for the PS3 and Xbox 360. Squeeballs was develped in house by them and so far seems to be the only title that supports their peripheral. This game just looks far too bizarre and crule to have any real value, plus it looks like crap too. As a PSN, XBL, or Wiiware game, this might make sense, or not. Hopefully they won’t ask full retail price for it. If they do, I think Squeeballs is a shoo in for the Shovelware of the Year award.

Gold’s Gym: Cardio Workout (Wii)
I really hate picking on the poor Wii but it does have the highest amount of shovelware than any other current generation console. Working on today’s theme of sports game ripoffs, we have another Wii Fit clone. Gold’s Gym is working out with your Wii. I suppose this isn’t a terrible game but it just looks like such a blatant ripoff, it’s not funny. Even the game’s characters look like the Miis from Wii Sports, not to mention that the graphics are just awful, which serves as salt in your black eye. Now who would develop such a crappy knockoff game. Certainly not a major company like Ubisoft. Oh wait, it was published by Ubisoft. No surprises there.