Drinking the nerdiest beer: Rolling Rock review

“He’d rather eat, the rotten asshole, of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer.” If you’re a gamer, chances are you’ve seen James Rolfe’s Angry Video Game Nerd web series. His character is known for a foul mouth, love of bad games, and affinity for Rolling Rock. The beer is popular in Pennsylvania and Rolfe’s native New Jersey. The LCBO here in Ontario just started carrying it. I couldn’t resist giving the king of nerdy beers a try.

Rolling Rock is a pale larger originally from western Pennsylvania, now based in St. Louis. It’s brewed by the Latrobe Brewing Company, as it has since 1939. InBev, a global beer conglomerate behind many famous brands including Budweiser & Alexander Keiths, currently owns them. It is a staple of the AVGN series, and has been since the 2004 pilots. Rolfe’s Nerd is seen drinking it to dull the pain of playing bad Nintendo games.

I’m writing this as I try the beer. Rolling Rock has a very light yellow colour and pours with a thick, foamy head. It’s very reminiscent of “cheap” beers like Molson Canadian or Budweiser. It has a light grainy, but non-alcoholic smell. So I take my first sip.

Yep, this is classic American beer. It’s fizzier than most beers I’ve had. The level of carbonation is close to soda. I guess you’d say it has a light, clean taste. There’s no appreciable amount of hops in it. That’s fine by me, as I don’t like bitter beers. However, there’s nothing else in the way of flavour. It has a faint grainy taste, but no malt. Heavily watered down is a more appropriate way to describe it. It’s like drinking club soda with a slice of white bread. This is a bad beer.

I don’t like InBev’s brands. A lot of their products are a lesser quality, and weaker, than others I’ve had. Even Keith’s allegedly doesn’t qualify as an IPA anymore, it being weaker than in the past. This one is exceptionally poor though. James Rolfe has the right idea. Rolling Rock is only good for dulling the pain. It will get you drunk, and that’s it. For those that appreciate good beer, look elsewhere. This is a stereotypical American pisswasser. Despite what the label says, premium this ain’t.

Enjoy this review? I might be reviewing some more craft beers to game by in the future. Stay tuned.

Title image copyright Cinemassacre Productions