Worst of Shovelware: Sensual Massage Edition

After more than a year, we’re serving up some fresh shovelware to all you casual gaming fans. So sit back and relax. Enjoy Your Massage, but no happy endings.

Enjoy Your Massage (Wiiware)
Wii want you to relax. Care for a sensual massage? Sorry babe, it usually doesn’t go off like that. Enjoy Your Massage has you rubbing some beautiful ladies, professionally of course. This is a family console after all. Enjoy Your Massage is a memory game like Simon. A series of squares on the person’s back flashes. Rub the right squares in the right order and you relax your client. Fail and you’re relegated to giving happy endings in a Camden, New Jersey back ally.

Dot Man (DSiWare)
Na na na na na na Dot Man, Dot Man, Dot Man. Actually, a game about a crime fighter would be cool. Instead, Dot Man is a poor Pac Man clone out of Japan. Your mission is to drive around in a maze in the Dot Car, collecting Dot Coins, and avoid the Dot Cops. Dot’s Graphics look strait out of a bad Dot NES game. The hot anime Dot Girl at the beginning of the video is a nice piece of deceptive Dot Marketing.

Stay tuned for next week’s Worst of Shovelware, when everyone’s favourite incompetent serial killer Naughty Bear takes the stage.